Sam's Silence

I tried to jump up, adrenaline and an inquisition rushing through me, but I crashed back to the ground as a searing pain crippled my mobility. I looked wildly around for my attacker...or rescuer...oh my head...

A movement near the end of the aisle caught my eye and I held my breath. Moving with a bit of a jaunt in his step, I saw the crazy cart caddy hovering a few feet away. He was plesantly disheveled, his eyes wide with fear...or was it excitement?

"Alright there?" he asked with a grin.

"Yeah, I guehhhaaaaaaah!" My skin became incensed as he drew near.

"Hold still, now, it's not too bad," he muttered under his breath as he opened up a gallon of milk and guuuush! He dumped it on me. Ordinarily, I think I would have been capable of physical harm after that. I mean, have you ever smelled dried milk?! He was a decently sized guy, but I think I could have taken him. But then, having milk dumped on your person isn't exactly "ordinary." So I kept my seat, and somehow, beneath my utter bewilderment, I was aware that the milk had immediately relieved my burning flesh feeling. It even subdued the pain in my head and leg. I blinked up at him. He grinned again back at me.

"2%. Handy stuff," he said as he set the empty jug on a shelf behind him. "For some, it can get so bad they need whole, but I took a chance here and hoped for the best."

I blinked again. That was pepto I took tonight, wasn't it?

"That's an offense burn for ya," he continued at my blank stare. "Yeah," he shook his head, "your kind are always so easily offended when our kind show up. Such a shame. That should hold you until you shower or become familiar with me."

My breath caught in my throat for a moment. "I'm sorry?"

"You know, get to know me better," he clarified, before a dust buster caught his attention. He shook his head at it with a little smirk. "Such a waste of talent. I mean, really" he said as he looked at me and held the gizmo up, "who really uses these things? And what do they really accomplish?" He set the dust buster back down. "Now, I once saw one that could suck up a live gold fish after an accidental fish take spillage. That...that could be handy."

He was so genuinely...out there...I couldn't help but be amused. He didn't seem offensive to me, really, but at this point....Well, at this point I was just a confused person illegally in a Sam's Club, drenched in milk in the wee hours of the morn. I blinked again.

"Okay, that's enough, let's go!" He helped me up, and just like that we were off. He was quick on his feet, and I was amazed to find I didn't have to struggle to keep up as we hurried through the aisles. He snatched up some backpacking gear, then grabbed seemingly unrelated items as we went. Tennis balls, a million-pack of Post-Its, some flannel sheets, and a mega deck of Uno. "Ah, hold on," he said, then disappeared into more shelves, reappearing moments later with a tub of butter and a special 3-pack of Candy Cane Oreos, which kinda made me happy.

"Well, look at that, an expression!" he cheered when he saw me. A little chuckle escaped my lips as I glanced at the butter. "Ah, right, in case your burn comes back," he said as he held up the tub. "And..."

He looked hesitant, almost a bit embarrassed. I raised my eye brows, waiting for him to continue. "And?"

"Well, you know, if there's time and all, I hear a little butter goes a long way in a grilled cheese sandwich." His smile returned as his eyes drifted into sandwich dreams, while mine went back to a confused gawk. "I've always wanted to try one. Now come on, it's time we got going." We stuffed the items into the packs and headed for the rear of the store. "We need to leave before she realizes we're right next door. I'm so glad Clyde told me where to find you, because I don't think I would have found you in time. I know he tried to warn you and I've been trying to reach you for days now and I--"

Phoomp! Which is precisely the sound one makes when they've been repelled by a wall they've just deliberately walked into, as if they thought it wasn't quite there.

"Ahmuph..." He groaned as I tried my best to help him up. "Helps to be touching the portal key when trying to go through a portal..." He grumbled as he hastily took my arm and reached into his pocket, and together we proceeded through the wall.